i have a job. for now.

so, that whole thing about me NOT getting fired? a technicality. seems the specific manager that i talked to, who was present my next night back, didn't have the balls to write me up. which is odd, because he's the only mgr there who doesn't like me. so, thursday night, the owner presented me with a silly form to sign, and that was #2, meaning the next time i breathe sideways, i'm fired. which is a bad thing, especially since i couldn't get to sleep this morning to prep for my close/open tonight/tomorrow, for which i usually just stay up, which is not going to work now. so i'm paranoid that i'm going to oversleep in the AM, for a shift during which i'm supposed to be training a new hire (which we need desperately)... so, if you're reading this, and you have my phone #, and you happen to be awake and looking for something to do around 9am wednesday, feel free to give me call. and wish me luck getting to sleep before 4am tonight... ugh. i hate jobs. (and, ya know, my sleep issues, but whatever.) and: the NY housesitting gig may be foiled. seems the folks in question found a great last minute deal, and are now leaving jan 3rd instead of going in february. given the lack of available people to cover shifts at said job at the moment, the odds of me taking off so soon for two weeks are slim to none. bah humbug. i'll still go to NY soon enough, but a paid gig is the best reason, and now that's gone poof. ah well.

blah. more silly Qs

1. You have $10 and need to buy snacks at a gas station; what do you buy? --sunchips, spearmint gum, a bottle of water, and either a coffee with lots of milk and a little ice, or a fountain coke, depending on the weather. and a pack of smokes. 2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea-dwelling creature, what would you be? --a mermaid. 3. Who's your favorite redhead? --leesa. 4. What do you order when you're at a pancake house? --haha. haven't been to one in ages, but when i was a kid, we had a family tradition that on your birthday, you got to choose a restaurant for dinner, and i always chose a pancake house. and ordered pancakes. my dad, who i adore, thought that pancakes were a breakfast food and shouldn't be eaten for dinner, so i was just being my usual contrary self. 5. Do you own any... naughty toys? --yup. in the red suitcase near the bed. 6. Have you made out with anyone on your friends list? --well, considering i was once married to one of them, i'll have to go with yes. 7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear: --in theory: my black VS hotpants. in reality: a semi-frilly black g-string. 8. Describe the last time you were injured: --making some bacon with the biker boy on the brain, i actually splattered hot grease on my thumb and burned myself badly enough that it still, about a month later, is red and angry-looking. i NEVER injure myself in the kitchen, dammit! 9. Are there any odd things that make you feel comfortable? --define odd? 11. Tell me a weird story from your high school years: --holy smokes, i wouldn't know where to start... one time i had this plastic flower and decided to carry it everywhere with me for about a month. actually i meant to carry it everywhere forever, but i lost it after about a month. wtf was up with that? 12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone? --a pleasingly symmetrical pic of my old roomie's cats. 13. Soda? --co-cola. 14. Flavor of pudding? --eh, not really. 15. What type of shirt are you wearing? --a comfy cotton jockey tank, in palest blue. 16. Prescription medication? --not usually, but last week i discovered that xanax + darvoset is a pretty happy combination. 17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life, what would it be? --wow. despite my disdain for the auto culture, i suppose i'll have to say, an imaginary car that never breaks down. 18. How many people are on your friends list? --10. 19. How many people on your list do you know in real life? --6. 20. What are you listening to right now? --nine inch nails, "and all that could've been." 21. Most recent movie you watched? --closer. which wasn't as sexy as i'd been led to believe. 22. Name 5 things you have with you at all times: --cell phone, smokes, my memories, my loves, and, erm, my issues. 23. Would you rather give or receive a foot massage? --receive. duh. 24. Name a teacher you had the hots for: --no, i don't believe i will. most of the 6 of you will know. 25. What is a saying that you use a lot? --what the fuck? 26. What's one piece of advice that you think should be passed on to every child? --you can do it.

perspective

just back from a much-fun trip to charlotte, visited an old friend, made a new one. interesting, and fruitful, to see myself through their eyes. my self-imposed isolation causes me to see only my nose and navel, and i forget sometimes... eh, i don't feel like writing about that particular aspect. though i really should. the purpose of the trip itself was to transfer some 8mm tapes to DVD, which was a collosal pain in the ass. the converter box thingy advertised it being "fast and easy!" but alas, they lied. between us we spent almost $400 (not counting my travel expenses) and yeah, technically we got the stuff transferred, but only after many attempts and many hours. plus, many more hours yet lie ahead to edit the stuff. perhaps i should get started on that, eh? the rest of the trip was nearly too much fun. sex, drugs, rock & roll... and a lot of lazing around, which i always love. and bacon. :-) nearly got myself fired from the cafe, because technical difficulties kept me in charlotte longer than expected, but thank allah, i'm still employed. and it looks like i've got myself a housesitting gig, courtesy of my favorite boss (the other one) in upstate new york in february. $600 plus travel expenses, woo! technically it's petsitting, so it'll be a bit of work, but whatever, C will hook me up with everything i need. and i'll spend some time in the city on either end, with a probable side trip to philly. it's always great to have a trip to look forward to. necessary for my sanity, almost.

boredom

ten things you might not know about me: 1. i like spiders and snakes. 2. i have stupid, irrational fears that i'm ashamed of. 3. i spend way too much time at the computer getting absolutely nothing done, pretending to be busy. 4. i look foxy in my blue sweatpants and a long john shirt. 5. i've turned into a bit of a lonesome, antisocial drunk. 6. i love you. 7. i can fucking sing. 8. my nostalgia will probably kill me sooner than any of my other lethal bad habits. 9. i'm too tolerant, both of others and of my own indulgences. 10. i miss you. nine places i've visited: 1. easton, PA 2. nevada city, CA 3. burlington, VT 4. hollywood, CA 5. hollywood, FL 6. deming, NM 7. MAROMA 8. steamboat springs, CO 9. lincoln, NE eight ways to win my heart: 1. notice that i look foxy in sweats and a long john shirt, and tell me so. 2. ask me to sing with you-- but honey, do it while you're playing a song i know the lyrics to, wouldja? 3. love me despite the fact that i'm a hopeless fuckup. 4. love me. 5. when i loan you a denis johnson book, actually read it, and then ask "what's next?" 6. when i play you some righteous patti smith that you've inexplicably never heard, do the same. 7. accidentally give me a concussion with your guitar, and be really sweet about it 8. come back, honey. come back. seven things i want to do before i die: 1. get published again, despite my displeasure the first time 2. more specifically: get paid to write 3. speak spanish fluently 4. have way more fantastical sex 5. visit all the other places everywhere 6. fall in love again, and again 7. ride more horses six things i'm afraid of: 1. success, apparently 2. car trouble at night when i'm alone 3. being alone, emotionally (not physically) 4. not ever falling in love again 5. not meeting my potential 6. losing my edge five things i don't like: 1. temper tantrums 2. extreme selfishness 3. intolerance 4. listening to holiday music all freakin' month of december 5. myself, sometimes... four ways to turn me off: 1. fail to understand CW's musical genius 2. disregard my stated requests. about anything. (disagree is a totally different thing!) 3. drink(/etc) so much that you can't bring/handle the fantastical sex 4. move a cat into my house and then fail to give it any attention... three things i do every day: 1. wake up late (assuming sleep happened at all) 2. smoke 3. drink coffee two things that make me happy: 1. getting the hell out of town 2. fantastical sex one thing on my mind right now: 1. getting the hell out of town.

a song i never knew how much i liked.... til tonight

Well all right, well all right You know we live and love with all our might Well all right, well all right well i can't find love to be all right Well all right, so I'm not ready Well all right, let people say That those stupid kids can't be ready For the love that comes their way. --and yet-- i'm still ready to tattoo "fearless heart" on my body. go figure. what am i waiting for? someone to ask? yup. someone to ask.

adventures in short pump

things that pissed me off today: --sprint cut my phone off ELEVEN days before my bill was due. last time it was "only" seven. at least this time i hadn't already put the money in the mail. so, once again i got to drive out to lovely downtown short pump. woo! even better: during rush hour! --adventures in book buying, in which Q pops into convenient barnes & noble to buy the new gabriel garcia marquez novel. new fiction table? nope. other new fiction table? nope. new fiction shelves? nada. ok, i'll walk upstairs to the fiction & lit section... nothing. and by nothing i mean NO garcia marquez-- not under G, not under M. the woman at the register has no idea who i'm talking about. ok, so maybe she's extra help hired for the holiday rush. fine. surely the people staffing the information desk have heard of him? i mean, i realize it's been over two decades since he won the freakin' nobel prize... she asks me if marquez is spelled with a C or a K. while deciding whether it will be more efficient to point out that garcia is not his first name, or whether to just spell marquez for her, i see that right behind her is a giant stack of the book in question. i just point at it. when i take it back to the same register where i'd inquired before, the woman says "wow! those folks at the information desk are quick, aren't they?!" grrrrr. --my car's oil light came on again. second time. both times in short pump, both times when i had to drive out there to BFE to get my phone turned back on (did i mention BEFORE the bill was due?). i am plotting to never, ever go there again. (you hear that, sprint? knock it off!) last time i moseyed into walmart & bought some more oil to dump in it. this time, at 5pm, i decided that the $35 it would cost me at jiffy lube, which had no line, was worth avoiding the clusterfuck at walmart. even though i'm broke, and that $35 came out of money i'd set aside to pay my car insurance, which is due in four days. call me lazy, but i'd had my fill of oxygen sucking morons for the day. deep breaths. back home, i cleaned for the impending arrival of the new roomie. she'll be here tomorrow before i wake up, so her boyfriend stopped by to get the keys (only because she lives an hour away, and it was raining, etc-- if he still has those keys after tomorrow, she's moving right back out. either that or he's paying a third of the rent.) had a nice chat with him, actually... he's kinda cute. gotta watch that. ("that" being my behavior. not, you know, his ass.) meanwhile, am trying to be productive in re the heartbreak. still raw, still a mess, still in a bit of denial, i think. focusing on the music, and spreading it. to that end, i've organized & catalogued all my bootlegs, so's i can spread the love. next week i'm buying some contraption to convert everything to digital. http://cwboots.blogspot.com/ plotting to get the hell out of town soonish. i have off the 7th through the 17th, barring one pesky shift right in the middle that i may have to bribe someone to cover. norfolk, then charlotte. fingers crossed that my car cooperates, as does the weather. blah.