boring belated update

man, i've been working too much. better than not at all, i guess. didn't even pretend to do nano this year, tho the desire was there. having a hard enough time keeping up with the laundry. i've reached 97% sure i'm not signing another lease here. been leaning in that direction-- haven't even hung my pictures back up since the reno, they're just leaning against walls-- but all the cafe-working has made me realize how bad the parking situation has gotten at night. i finally realized that part of the reason for my anti-social behavior is that i'm not willing to drive around in circles afterward for anything other than work. pathetic, perhaps, but there's a safety issue there, too. if i think too hard about it, my lifetime crime stats say that i'm not "due" for another year or so, but if that's the case, i should knock off the walking alone at night with waitress cash before too long. in my whole life, even as a child, i've never called one address "home" as long as i have this apartment. i do love it, and if i could pick it up, move it elsewhere, add a parking spot, and drop the rent by half, i'd *never* give it up. but alas... point being, this will be a significant move, not just geographically, but emotionally. i have a theoretical "plan B" that involves moving to norfolk, which has been on the short list for a while, but i haven't decided what "plan A" is just yet. story of my life: endless options, can't make a decision. still considering florida, but i don't think i'm quite ready for that just yet. to that end, i'm considering not taking my usual december trip, though i'm not sure sanity will allow for that particular budget cut. more likely i'll just reduce it from a week in florida to a few days at any coast reachable by car. i need the sand and the tide desperately. gas prices will surely be outrageous by then, but still cheaper than a flight. finally convinced myself that a roommate is the answer to maintaining a non-depressing lifestyle while still saving for the move... started writing a "roomie wanted" ad for craigslist a few days ago, and just then a co-worker approached me about moving in. not entirely sure i believe that she's a homebody, but we'll have a sit-down in the next week & figure out if we can make it work. over the past month, i've "randomly" run into several of my favorites of the people i've met during my time in richmond, some from the very beginning, just over a decade ago... people i've lost touch with of my own accord but wish i hadn't... and not one of those times did i think "hey, maybe i should stay here, there really are people i adore in this town." there's not even a small subconscious part of me that wants to stay here, not even a lame, destructive reason. no reason at all other than inertia, which even MY lazy ass is bored of. "the prettier the flower, the farther from the path..." funny quote overheard at work: a gal who is sweet and cute, but a few cards short of a deck, was attempting to deflect a flirtatious comment from a coworker, and instead of saying "don't flatter yourself," she said "don't try to pleasure yourself." it's the little chuckles that get me through the nights. same night i came home and heard a commercial for the new beowulf movie: "if you think angelina jolie is hot in real life, wait til you see her in 3-D." um... am i the last one on earth to learn that she's not a real person, but instead a cardboard, two-dimensional fake, created by hollywood to sell movie tickets and gossip mags? or, perhaps, is that just the most idiotic commercial ever? some nights i think perhaps i work with some of the dumbest people on the planet*, and then i come home and realize there are people who get paid 100 times as much to be just as moronic. which is ironic, because an original life plan of mine, made before everything changed drastically in 1989, involved me being an advertising exec by now, and being the boss of people who make such stupid commericals. oy. (*i do actually like and respect some of my coworkers, which is one of many reasons i'll miss this job when i move. but let's face it-- it's the restaurant business. generously, it's 15% people who could do whatever they want but haven't figured out what that is or how to make it happen, 10% people who ARE doing what they want but that thing only pays part of the bills, 25% people who WILL do whatever they want shortly and are just subsidizing the path to that goal, and 50% people who can't do much of anything else. misery loves company.)