late night munchies...

things that make me happy and sad at the same time: making mashed potatoes and fried eggs & ham topped with havarti at 3 am, all in a calphalon crepe pan, because dammit, i have all those things in my kitchen now... and thinking of days past when (a) i wished i could make such things but couldn't afford them, and (b) i made similar things without the goodies even tho i could afford them, but was too lazy. the memories are damn happy, but make me miss you (yes, you), and make me think of those other times when i held out the havarti for better days, nights, make me wonder what the hell i was doing then, make me wonder why... make me wonder why i ever left you. i'm an idiot, i know this much is true, but still. i always have havarti and bacon and what all else in my fridge these days. but the rest?