more adventures in parking

and now for some non-depressing blathering. i trace my ability to do this to the happy fact that "orgasm addict" came on the 80s cable radio tonight at work. soccer moms eating their salads, i give you the buzzcocks. chew on THAT. random shout-out: B-- i miss you! call me sometime? my impending new roomie has a brother in rke, & i've already requested a ride-along next time she heads out yonder. also: can i get R's phone # from you? from what he said last time i saw y'all, sounds like he's as antisocial as i am, so maybe we'd be the perfect rva buddies. yesterday i found a flyer on my windshield when i left for work. i assumed it was a promo for some pizza place, so i tossed it in the seat next to me and put the car in gear... but then i picked it back up. and wow, how quickly i lost the calm that i had worked so hard to achieve in order to be able to get out of bed and even THINK about going to work... "DEAR DRIVER, CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A LITTLE CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS ON THIS BLOCK? IM SERIOUSLY NOT TRYING TO BE NASTY BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS. IT IS A SHAME THAT SOME OF US CANT EVEN PARK ON OUR BLOCK BECASUE YOU ARE UNAWARE OF THE WAY YOU HAVE PARKED. PLEASE, LETS TRY TO ALL HELP EACH OTHER OUT AND PULL FORWARD TO THE CAR IN FRONT OF YOU OR PULL BACK TO THE CAR BEHIND YOU. IM SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IT SUCKS TO HAVE TO PARK 10 MILLION MILES AWAY." yes, i realize i didn't need to type that whole thing out, and i know i've lost some of you already. but this thing has been eating at me for 30+ hours. the damn thing was typed out (yes, in all caps, and with likely more misspellings than i indicated above) and no, it was not signed. now, let me explain some things. parking here has an element of suckage, but it's not THAT bad. maybe half a dozen times in the past 4 years, i've had to park farther than a block away (meaning 2 blocks-- waaaahh), even though i keep night hours and the rest of the neighborhood does not. in general (as tonight), i park about a block away if i get home later than 8pm. if i wanted off-street parking, i would NOT live in this neighborhood. another thing: i do not share my american brethren's compulsion to get in my car every single day. specifically, even when i'm in too-much-work phases like now, i rarely drive on thursdays or fridays. friday's my work-from-home day, and thursday is for laundry and relaxing. this thursday, i had some errands to run, but i was home from that fairly early and got the last prime spot out front. i pulled up to the car in front of me (thanks for that parking lesson, einstein), in part due to the fact that i had no choice in the matter-- there was only one small spot available. friday morning, every else goes to work, comes home, showers, pre-games loudly, and hits the bars. cars of many shapes and sizes come and go. (seriously, the range is wide just on this block-- we've got little civics, vans and pickups, and a big old smelly dodge dart.) my car, parked mid-block, does not move during all this commotion. the random combination of sizes and shapes (and other people's actions) leads to gaps both in front of and behind my car that are too small to fit all but a mini cooper. what am i expected to do-- monitor the situation and go out and move my car every few hours? i think not. i've been brainstorming about how to respond to this ludicrous note, despite the fact that i am well aware that i should ignore it. my favorite plan involves hiring one of those billboard trucks to take up half a dozen spots on the block, with a "where you gonna park now, asshole?" message written on it. alas, my better judgement, such as it is, will take hold. soon. i hope.