Thursday, September 01, 2005

depressing baseball facts

saw P tonight... i've wanted to spend time with him, just to reinforce that i do still want to be friends, but wasn't sure if either of us was ready. it's been, what three weeks now? a month? so i called him a few days ago, & we made plans to get together tonight, his "only free night," and see the new jarmusch movie, but i later realized tonight might be the last r-braves game i could catch, so i suggested that instead. now, i knew he was planning to go to philly this weekend and see a game, he'd told me his plans, and i hoped that he was going alone. last time we talked, he said he wasn't going after all, that he couldn't afford it, and knowing his dad, i figured he'd change his mind. another comment of his made me think he hadn't told his dad that we'd split up. alas. he mentioned that his dad has scored great seats, for this late in the season, and i asked if he'd found someone to drive him up, since he'd said he couldn't afford train tickets, and had mentioned that he couldn't afford to fix his car. and the answer was yes. and i can't stand it. i mean, i can handle the fact that he's fucking someone else-- that fact has never been the real issue-- but taking her to philly? to meet his dad, to sleep in anne's bed? in MY place? already? fuck. i almost told him i wanted to leave right then, in the third inning. i almost cried. i didn't, because i couldn't, but damn. i am sure going to miss south philly.